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[Night of the Crabs] EBOOK / PDF

Night of the CrabsEre fully charged with emotion and he would dearly ove to have taken her Not only beautifully said but it really makes you think doesn t it Bottom Song of the Forest line if the title the cover and above uotes make you think you wouldike this odds are you will Me I had a ot of fun with it 30 stars Forward By JF Gonzalez Introduction by Guy N Smith This may have started the Crab migration Today we have Clickers and Crustations by other authors This book is as close to a 50 s horror movie as you can get How can you not ove a bunch of hungry Crabs out for a uick bite I purchased this book from the author at his Black Hill Books bookstore where the A Constellation of Vital Phenomena last time Iooked he had almost fourty of his books for sale which he will gladly sign if asked I ve noticed something really special about reading the Giant Crabs series by Guy N Smith out of order it doesn t matter It means nothing Nobody ever earns a fucking thing about these crabs and passes it to the next book Even the main character in Night of the Crabs the first of the crabs books shows up in the second crabs book and really has no information to offer Except guns don t work and they come out when the moon is full but anyone who knows anything about crabs knows that The thing I will say about Night of the Crabs is that it is both the most titillating Crabs book that I ve read so far and also the most idiotic Case in point the ead character Cliff Davenport is an expert on undersea botany he knows about plants AND sea animals Also his nephew is coincidentally the first victim of the Giant Crabs He Flies Out To Investigate crabs He flies out to investigate nephew s disappearance and Sextasy: Master the Timeless Techniques of Tantra, Tao, and the Kama Sutra to Take Lovemaking to New Heights lucky for the book sees giant crab claws everywhere and can identify them But that s not the best part The best part is the weird sex Because Guy N Smith writes sex scenesike a twelve year old who s never seen a naked Still Life with Chickens lady before The first time Davenport has sex with hisovely new girlfriend Smith writes the followingHer fingers were active Cliff felt that thrilling sensation of his zip being pulled down her fingers groping inside the open vent and then the coolness of the night air on his warm moistnessHIS WARM MOISTNESSI can say no I have several Giant Crabs books to go Let me preface this by saying that this book was a blast So why am I only rating it 3 stars you ask Even though this book was a Still Life with Chickens: Starting Over in a House by the Sea lot of fun it s not exactly well written I wasn t expecting horroriterature so that was okay with me I m not sure if it was an editing issue or if the original text was messed up but there are a ot of weird things going on in the Kindle edition with exclamation "Points Capitalized Letters In The " capitalized etters in the of sentences and other things ike thatThis book was written in the 70 s so I had some issues with the views on women but I understand this book is a product of its time so that s cool women but I understand this book is a product of its time so that s cool than those issues this book was a great creature feature Lots of bloody showdowns between the crabs especially the KING crab and mankind Man usually coming out the oser again and again All kinds of bloody disasters and almost non stop action other than the main characters falling in STFU, Parents: The Jaw-Dropping, Self-Indulgent, and Occasionally Rage-Inducing World of Parent Overshare love withinike 3 pages which made this a uick read You know every once in a while I need me some cheesy horror Not everything can be The Haunting of Hill House Sometimes I just want to be entertained without thinking too much If you re in need or in the mood for the Sharknado of books this is the one for youRecommended for fans of cheesy horror creature feature fun. A series of apparent drowningsAnd when the screaming stops the crunching of bone and munching of flesh begins.

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Can totally see someone ike Richard Carlson as the ead The first of Guy N Smith s killer crab books and still the champion A FEW PRELIMINARIES FOR THE DISCERNING BIBLIOPHILE1 This book is called Night of the Crabs 2 This book is NOT called An Meaningful Exploration into the Depth and Meaning of Classic American Literature3 This book s cover shows a giganto ill tempered CRABosaurus sporting a stool dropping don t come hither Syncopated: An Anthology of Nonfiction Picto-Essays look in its glowing red eyes4 The publishers of this book chose for its marketing tagine to be In The Tradition of RatsThe above should clue you that we are dealing with a certain uality of plot complexity intelligent dialogue and deft characterization The same standard of uality that made the films of Ed Wood and Roger Corman so famous and *Gave Mystery Science Theater 3000 The Material *Mystery Science Theater 3000 the material become the greatest show ever With that in mind reading this book was just ike watching one of those 1950 s monster movies that they used show on Saturday mornings You know the ones you used to watch through one bloodshot eye while you tried in vain to reconstruct the previous evening s Teuila fueled round of misdemeanors Well this book would ualify as one of the better uality bad movies and I had a TON of FUN with it Smith knows the kind of and I had a TON of FUN with it Smith knows the kind of he is writing and keeps the pace brisk by wasting no time on minutia ike plot character development or dialogue He does however eave room for healthy amounts of hokey campy
and corny and 
corny and spent much of the story with an ear to ear grin on my face I thoroughly enjoyed reading it and plan on reading at east one of the seuels to see if the magic can continue Of course be advised that you will be cheering for the CRABzillas in this story as the human inhabitants are so hopelessly inept that by the time they get ripped into gory chunks of stupidity you re just sighing thankfully that they ve been flushed out of the human gene pool before they had a chance to breed That is of course except for our intrepid hero Professor Cliff Davenport whose genius and MacGyver ike ability to sueeze out of tight situations and develop on the fly solutions to seemingly unsolvable problems is a groan inducing joy to behold And that man can rap too Here is a sample of a few of my favorite uotes from old Professor Problem solver In trying to describe the invulnerability of the Crabs to the inept military eaders the Prof says You haven t seen these monsters If you had you d know what I mean I d have to see em blown to smithereens with my own eyes before I d believe they re not invincible This of course is a classic restatement of the scientific method Later upon seeing the Mexican Hooker leader of the Crabs oh yes Crabbies got themselves a head honcho the Professor curses King CrabSee the Devil Twice as big as the others He s cunning than any human being Somehow he s got them out there hiding But how Only a brilliant scientific mind could intuit such sly cunning on the part of King Crab by simplyooking at him To top off the wonderful schlocky goodness that is Night of the Crabs I must mention the obligatory The League for the Suppression of Celery love affair between Professor Hero and his beautiful one dimensional bubble headedove interest when she speaks you can actually hear an echo This is the kind of torrid smoky romance that will cause readers to re examine their own pathetic ives and dream of finding someone who can make them this happy How often if ever in your own ife can you honestly say you have felt this much His Suspicion at Seven: A Lois Meade Mystery loins L army of giant crustaceans thaturk in the dark off shore waterswatching waitingwhile the police investigate.

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