[EBOOK/PDF] (El Deafo) author Cece Bell
Hyperfocus: How to Be More Productive in a World of Distraction gAre changing and society is progressing and assimilating that nowadays they are the best solution for severe to total deafness Until they manage to reconstruct the inner ear with stem cells Future is coming Meanwhile they are not cheap and the system is not perfect but having one cochlear implant for free is than most of children can ask forSo I amrateful to have two cochlear implantsThis book is the story of my life MostlyCece is 4 years old when she has meningitis and that would change her life forever since She was lucky because she already had a solid basis in the means of communication that is to say language I was 2 years and a half when I had bacterial meningitis due to Haemophilus influenzae which was a fucking trick of fate because the vaccine came out the following year and since then on that bacteria stopped being the principal cause of meningitis in kids I Shameful Secret, Shotgun Wedding got into a disseminated intravascular coagulation and thanks to some miracle and 2 platelets bags I lived to tell the tale Conseuences could have been much worse so I can t complain that the only seuel I had was deafness First it was severe then it was profound and finally it was total Medical term cophosisNo I do not remember that episode I do remember that time when I shallowed a box full of Hibitane and I needed to have my stomach pumped I know I know I m an ungrateful bitch But those things were tasty Moral of the story make sure pills are not accessible to children They are clever little monsters I m talking from my very own experienceI was a way too young so I lost every achievement in the communication area I had managed to learn That is to say at 3 years old I had forgotten every word I had in my record Meaning I had to begin again from scratch Areat delay in comparison to the kids of my own age At first I had hearing aids The very same one Cece wears the cordless ones I see them now and are covered in ear wax Gross I The Puppy Who Knew Too Much guess than in a million years they willet my DNA and create a little Sheziss out of itBut right then I HATED those thingies They made a sueal I couldn t stand and they were time out of my ear than inside of it My parents pursued me around the house to drive them into my ears often than notBut then my surgery and my first cochlear implant came I was 3 years old in the hospital And there was light Yes it was uncomfortable to wear now that I think about it but when you hear properly for the first time in a long time and it doesn t hurt you you simply love it to pieces I look at it now and say You cute little box My mother bought me lots of undershirts and stitched up a little bag with a little button below my right arm to place the little box In every one of them Yes it had a long cord from the little box to my ear Exactly like Cece s thingies With the exception that there was nothing inside my ear just a magnet on my skull to connect to the inner ear and stimulate the cells with electrical wavesIt was freedom but it had limitations I couldn t Glow Guide: Yoga: Simple Steps for Health and Well-Being get completely involved in PE orames in the schoolyard because the box could fall if I did handstands or the cord could be tangled or the magnet on my skull could fall from brusue movements And of course no water Electroshocked Sheziss is not fun IMO Well I m being dramatic I have no idea if I d be electroshocked but it surely would have stopped being fun 5 minutes after when the machine wouldn t work So no sound in the swimming pool The battery only lasted one day and a half the AAA batteries so every morning I had to change it But the worst was the speech therapy It was a mess of sounds with no sense at all I had to learn how to interpret them Whereas kids my own age played football after school I had classes To hear To understandAnd then the first box less and cord less cochlear implant came I can t find it amongst my little machines kept in the
Wardrobe So You Will Have To Imagine It The Way so you will have to imagine it the way have just described it It was so small I couldn t believe I would only have to wear the part that is placed on my ear The batteries are much smaller cell batteries and last 3 4 days topsBut they last longer on me because when sleeping when having a shower when reading when studying I switch them off In fact I only have them on in the university and while watching movies and being with the family The rest of the time I m in silence Blessed silenceBut it s a dirty trick when you are in the middle of something interesting or important and suddenly The battery is dead Not funny at allIt was about time I Great Powers, Small Wars: Asymmetric Conflict since 1945 got a smaller cochlear implant because I wasoing to start needing a bra and the undershirts were Djevojka bez mature going to become a nuisance rather than a helpThat s when I had my second surgery on my other ear And that meant that that speech therapy I hadotten rid of years before had to come back Crap But it also meant I could hear from both sides although not with the same uality and still not locating the source of the sound I still favor my old ear simply because the sounds are much clearer and neat The sooner you begin the better you will hear As simple as thatSome years later I had a modern cochlear implant so we changed the one from the left ear to the right ear and the new one to the left ear This year I was provided with the newest brands and they have lots of applications like background noises muting and hooking to the cinema s sound or the computerA funny detail if I try to put one of my little machines on the other side I hear nothing Each cochlear implant is made for a certain ear it doesn t work on the other The audiologist just programs the cochlear implant with my map so it can FUNCTION WITH THE SPECIFIC SIDE OTHERWISE with the specific side Otherwise are useless Another funny detail my old cochlear implant the inner part is analog whereas my new one is digital Like watches I m a cyborg BewareBut it s a pain when one of them breaks It meant sending the cochlear implant to whoever repairs it and trying to manage with only one or using one of my older versions I keep in my wardrobe Thank God now the company lends you a similar one with your map to substitute yours until it comes back to youAbout the Phonic Ear Cece takes to school for teachers to wear in order to hear them it s totally different in my case I had a Phonic Ear but it s called FM or Frecuencia Modulada here Modulated Freuency but it s not a different machine just a little object I add to my own cochlear implants It works like a radio or a walkie talkie the speaker talks and the waves reach the cochlear implants How do I hear it I hear it as if the voices were inside my headThese schizophrenic symptoms were truly annoying at school Here is where I disagree with Cece The static was terrible and the voice resonated like in a cave I refused to wear it and as I sat on the first row and paid attention I survived that way with no problem at allBut then university came and I decided that in a room with than 250 people there was no way I could Night Music get by the way I had been for years So I reuested a FM and when it wasiven to me it was incredible As I said technology moves fast and this new FM was the utter proof of it I heard the teacher s voice inside my head and with almost no staticThe only snag I could not hear anything from my mates The FM only allows me to hear the voices it catches and it cancels the rest It means that if a friend sitting next to me wants to mumble something in my ear I would not hear it It was difficult for my mates to Zecca: The Mint of Venice in the Middle Ages get it at first because they were sitting right next to me But it finally sank in and weot along very nicely writing their comments down instead of using the vocal cordsThe advantage The teacher could move around the class and I would hear him the same way no matter what Sometimes they don t notice they are wearing it and leave the class and I keep hearing them and I have to pursue them in the corridors so I Irreverent Photo Tools for Digital Photographers get have it back Sometimes it s not me but one of my mates the one who pursues that teacher My FM is not as powerful as Cece s It s a simpler machine but also less flashy with a reach of 45m tops When I had to choose between the showy but powerful FM and the simpler but less powerful one I chose the second one Mostly because it s easier to convince the teacher to wear it when it s not a black brick hanging from your neck And also because 45m is than enough in my case So why the fussAh that way I ve bonded with teachers very nicely Sometimes conversations begin like thisMe Hello I m Teacher Can you speak louder I m a little deaf Me Yes me too I m not a simple number When we are kids we want to be like everyone else but when werow up we want to be special an different Needless to say I didn t have to make an effort to stand out but I don t want my deafness to be the only thing that describes me People say I m the curly and tall head so I uess I do stand out in other Ways Too Thank GodSometimes too Thank GodSometimes hear inappropriate comments from my teachers when they speak with someone else while students are finding a seat just before the class starts Once I heard This deaf mute irl Saphyre gave this to me and I felt likeoing down from my place and tell him I think you must be the deaf one here because I m definitely not mute but I didn t ThenIt s a urban legend that refuses to die deaf people are mute And this is the most offensive statement of them all For me at leastOther people feel okay about being called deaf mute and I respect thatI m sorry I m not amongst themI am called the insulting obsolete term sordomuda deaf mute on a regular basis and most of the times I didn t bring myself to care to correct that affirmation It was inertia I The Day the Crayons Quit got tired and was uncertain about explaining the same thing once and again above all when the comment was made by a nasty person But my patience is running short whereas my self esteem is running wild and it doesn t allow me to accept this behavior any So now I look at them in the eye and say with aiant smile on my face like the Cheshire Cat I m not mute because I talk and sometimes I say You had no idea I was mute until I told you I was deaf Oh ohAnd that Ece makes a startling discovery With the Phonic Ear she can hear her teacher not just in the classroom but anywhere her teacher is in school in the hallway in the teacher's lounge in the bathroom This is power Maybe even superpower Cece is on her way to becoming El Deafo Listener for All But the funny thing about being a superh. .
Find all of my reviews at is the autobiographical story of Cece Bell and her experiences of oing to school as the only deaf kid in the class From her own insecurities to people treating her different Cece found a coping mechanism in the form of El Deafo a superhero with nerves of steel who Cece imagined saying and doing everything she only wished she was brave enough to This is a reat book for youngsters Aside from pointing out the obvious fact that people are people and shouldn t be treated different just because they aren t an exact copy of everyone else it also did a reat job of explaining in kid terms exactly how it might make the person who is being treated differently feel It also takes you through all the other trials and tribulations a young in might experience while navigating their way through elementary school Things like embarrassing parents making friends and frenemies first crushes and most importantly My 3 Star rating is the lowest amongst my friends which is totally legit since I m easily the biggest jerk in the roup of those who have read it Since I am such a jerk allow me to Shadow Work: A New Guide to Spiritual and Psychological Growth go off on a tangent Such a switch from my regular reviews which always stay on topic I know An open letter to schoolteachers who assign nightly reading as homework I am a reader and I love this My small human however is not I have done my parental duty and made sure that said small person is capable of reading at a top of the charts level but unfortunately I cannot make him enjoy reading You know what might Reading a story about a little bunny who eavesdrops on her teachers That stuff is HILARIOUS to a kid Buuuuuuuuut since the story was contained in araphic novel and not a real seriously book it doesn t count toward the weekly reading reuirement because it would be cheating since it has so many pictures and not as many words Yeah You know what you can do Amazing Highly recommend to anyone Great ownvoices deafness representation Loved how childhood friendships were portrayed I think any kid would Metabolic Repair Manual get a lot out of this story and adults too be it identifying with Cece s story or relating to feelings of being different or understanding their peers What aift Cece Bell has Law and Society: A Sociological Approach given us in this fantasticraphic novel It is a very realistic portrayal of her own elementary school experiences her illness and hearing impairment moving adjusting to a new school a iant hearing aid trying to make friends and the many different reactions to her deafness I found both her and her alter ego El Deafo to be honest smart and funny A wonderful story about rowing up and learning the strengths in our differences I actually took this out of the library for my daughter She absolutely devoured this book reading it constantly until she finished I heard her chuckle uite a few times but I also overheard her explaining the book to her Cybersecurity: Protecting Critical Infrastructures from Cyber Attack and Cyber Warfare (Zones of Religion) grandfather in detail and she mentioned the difficulties she observed in the story This book has areat message for all ages My heart is so happy This was absolutely adorable And so informative Our differences are our superpowers Starting and ending the day with a ood read will never row tired on me Starting at a new school is scary even so with a iant hearing aid strapped to your chest At her old school everyone in Cece s class was deaf Here she is different She is sure the kids are staring at the Phonic Ear the powerful aid that will help her hear her teacher Too bad it also seems certain to repel potential friendsThis funny perceptive raphic novel memoir about rowing up hearing impaired is also an unforgettable book about rowing up and all the super and super embarrassing moments along the way El Deafo is filled with all the upheavals and self uestioning of Cece Bell s early childhood from experiencing crushes pushy best friends and loneliness to making many discoveries about lip reading including how it can create many awkward misread situations I d highly recommended this for fans of Wonder by RJ Palacio This raphic novel was the perfect blend between funny realistic and enlightening to keep me flipping rapidly from page to pageIt s totally fascinating and alarming at times to read through what the author went through in her school education from dealing with well meaning yet completely ignorant folks coming up and asking straight up rude uestions to her face to describing the many cues to notice to fully understand a conversation piece in real life or on TV And to include a few other noteworthy moments Wow I feel utterly exposed by the above panel This brought to mind a similar exchange in one of my favorite episodes in Master of None season two Overall I enjoyed this middle rade raphic novel than I expected with the months of waiting So the anticipation to finally read El Deafo paid off uite well Oh and just throwing it out there I d love to see this story turned into a movie in the near future Note I m an Affiliate If you re interested in buying El Deafo just click on the image below to o through my link I ll make a small commission Support creators you love Buy a Coffee for nat bookspoils with Ko ficombookspoils 3 I liked it stars Reading level 8 12 years but all ages can enjoyAfter a sudden illness strikes Cece when she is four she finds herself hearing impaired after recovering Her doctors have The Murder Exchange given her a device to wear which helps her hear but it s very noticeable being strapped to her chest and having cords in her ears Over the years Cece faces many trials brought on by her impairment from being made fun of to friends wanting to be friends so they can have a deaf friend to people shouting in her ears and blasting the radio and television This is the autobiographical story of how Cecerew up with little hearing and how she dreamed of using it as a superpower to help herA very funny look at rowing up with a hearing impairment As a autobiographical the author look at up with a hearing impairment As "A AUTOBIOGRAPHICAL WORK THE AUTHOR ABLE "autobiographical work the author able tell her story of her issues as a young child with a sense of humor about her experiences and doesn t add any hostility in her voice While there are many issues Cece dealt with that were solely because of her hearing impairment many issues were about friendships and dealing with bullies what many tweens experience in eneral The artwork was very vibrant lots of bright colors and actions and The fact that all of the characters were bunnies was a bit strange but it appeals to a younger age The Million Dollar Goal group that this book iseared toward This book also promotes awareness and understanding for people with disabilities mostly it points out that just because Cece cannot hear doesn t mean she feels different things than other people She just needed people to be clearer when they spoke with her and not for them to make the assumption that she was stupid or needed things blasted at loud volumes The friendships in the novel were very relatable to all as kids some friendships are a bit illogical but were formed because of necessity or lack of other people around Cece s feelings on her different friendships were funny sad happy frustrated and many emotions we have all felt over the years A Securing Caite great coming of age novel that teaches the reader about how everyone is different in their own way and to be accepting of all people April 25th pre review This one started out really strong for me I was even literally laughing out loud But at the midway point I lost a lot of interestI will share this myrandmother is hard of hearing She was born that way and her parents my Trudy greatrandparents were deaf and their parents before them So reading this book reminded me uite a bit of the stories my randmother told me about being deaf as a little irl It s kind of crazy how similar the life of a deaf The Unlikeliest Hero: The Story of Desmond T. Doss girlrowing up in the 30 s and 40 s as one rowing up in the 80 s90 s Like that hearing aid the main character wore My randma had one too but it was attached to her leg and had even longer strings to the ears She told me about how other children would run by her and slap it which really hurt her ears It s ood to know that the author of this book wasn t bullied like my randmother was for being deaf Middle Prisoner of Midnight gradeyoung adultraphic novel In comic book form Cece Bell tells the story of a young BOSH!: The Cookbook: Simple Recipes. Amazing Food. All Plants. girl rabbitrowing up with a severe hearing impairment She does a Confessions of an Air Ambulance Doctor great job tackling the subject with humor and pathos letting us see the world through the narrator s eyes and hear through her super Phonic Ear Along the way we meet pushy friends clueless peers helpful teachers not so helpful siblings and a whole cast of other characters that any kid can relate to Areat novel for raising awareness and promoting understanding because not everyone hears the world the same way whether we have a super powerful Phonic Ear or not It doesn t take a Mr. Jelly's Business genius to figure out why I wanted to read this bookI m notoing to show any other picture from the book because I d end up highlighting everything and you d kill me in the processSo I will post nothing Read the book yourselfThis is not the first book about deaf people I ve read but I always ot the impression authors have deafness kind of idealized The picture someone has when thinking about deaf people is the person who hears nothing and says nothing and communicates via sign languageWell that person may exist But this stereotype is becoming less and less common nowadays I live in a country where the social security provides for your loss of hearing There is a screening test once the child is born and if an alteration is detected it has to be studied further If you happen to have an alteration several possibilities are offered If a kid needs a hearing aid he will have one If a kid needs a cochlear implant he will have at least one Because resources are limited iving a kid two cochlear implants one for each ear means one kid will Gökyüzü Mavi Kaldı get none This was less of a problem a while ago when people distrusted cochlear implants with all their being It was an abomination for parents to constent their kids to be operated for that Close relatives disapproved my parents decision Fortunately things. Starting at a new school is scary even so with aiant hearing aid strapped to your chest At her old school everyone in Cece's class was deaf Here she is different She is sure the kids are staring at the Phonic Ear the powerful aid that will help her hear her teacher Too bad it also seems certain to repel potential friends Then
Cece Bell Å 0 reviewWhen they are dumbstruck and when they finally manage to react they say they are sorry And I feel sorry too for being rude yes but also because they simply do not realize how they use their words I am willing to explain everything about me but I will not accept the term sordomuda as well as homosexuals don t accept being called faggots I hope you understandI don t have a problem answering any uestion people may have but I don t like people shamelessly staring at me as if I were an animal in the zoo This happened to me once in the bus I had my hair up in a ponytail and there was a boy my age looking at me I could see him from the corner of my eye and he stayed that way the WHOLE trip At last I Corps Values: Everything You Need to Know I Learned In the Marines got sick of it so I stared at him directly in the eye with an ber serious face That s when he FINALLY looked elsewhere Manners don t stop existing even when that person is deaf you know Just in caseI told this to some family and they told me that maybe he thought I was pretty or something Well I will always have the doubt I know I know schizophrenic symptoms but whatever I prefer wearing my hair long and loose and if the issue is raised I tell them Or not at allCece has lots of problems making friends It s funny because I didn t have those problems The typical stupid argumentsirls have yes but not the treating me as the deaf idiot problem I had BFFs all the time the problem came when I was 12 and The Sun Shines Over the Sanggan River girls stopped playing with dolls andot interested in THIEME Atlas of Anatomy: Head and Neuroanatomy gathering in bigroups and talk and talk and taaaaaaaalk It was so boring And I felt so alone I ot lost in the conversation and I had nothing to contribute to them The bigger the roup the worse for me Above all when they were talking about supposedly River Bodies (Northampton County, grown up things like boys and makeup and the like Soames were pushed aside And I felt pushed aside tooThank God that the following year I had another BFF and we Dept. of Reproductive Management got along very nicely the rest of high school College preparatory however meant focusing onetting the best marks possible so I didn t have to make an effort to make friends Although I met a Beneath This Ink girl with whom I still talk on a regular basis and agree to meet now and then She s the only friendship that has survived from my teen years And that s fine because she s also the one who deserves it the mostWell I have to mention I ve always been an independent and introvert person I slept in my own bed much earlier than my older brother did He had to draw attention constantly and have company when he played whereas I was in my little corner with my Schleich horses or my Barbies or my Bratz OMG I wish I had had those Monster High then I envy being a kid nowUnlike Cece the real challenge were the adults Those are the ones who talked to me as if I were an idiot Iuess they thought that exaggerating their lip movements and speaking much louder was the best way to help me They don t exactly ask me if I know sign language but they want to know if I read lips And yes it s a rusted ability I have because I don t use it very often unless I have my cochlear implants off but it s not necessary for me if the circumstances are favorable What s important to me is seeing the face as a whole and having the best vocalization and uality of voice possible and the less surrounding noise possible The volume strangely enough is the less important detail because as Cece says it only makes unintelligible sounds louder not intelligibleI never learnt sign language which not universal BTW so do not think than learning the American one will enable you to communicate with a French deaf person and I was never taught to read lips because I never went to a school specifically for deaf people but to one of integration Living in a world full of people who hear has not exactly been a bed of roses but it had to be doneBut it can be funny too When my little brother teases me I switch my prothesis off and tell him to speak louder please because I can t hear him He is so cute when he makes that AYFKM face I can t help myself Or when I sing off key on purpose and they tell me to stop because I m terrible and that s when I excuse myself Sorry I have a bad hearing Or when there is a big noise and I say OMG no I ve The Psychology of Work gone deaf This is the end of the world What are weoing to do About movies In a zombie apocalypses I d be the first one to die as I would not hear them coming And my favorite I yet have to find one that beats it when someone complains about the noisy neighbors See Sometimes you wanna be me Take that I love black humor and I love it when I m the only one who can make jokes about it Because if you do it I ll kill youOf course I m kiddingMaybeCece has it hard to read lips but then not all deaf people have that ability Some hearing people do have it too but not all of them Of course you can practice to improve it On the other hand the Spanish is an almost phonetically perfect language It s much easier to read lips when the language is exactly written the way it s pronounced English sucks in that sense unfortunately About movies and phone conversations They are difficult Not only because you can t SEE THE OTHER PERSON S FACE WHICH BY ITSELF the other person s face which by itself important but also because of the uality of the sound Cochlear implants are adapted to the human voice but not so much to the electronic voice I understand movies just fine in the theatre where the sound is the best uality you can find Even though the dubbing means the lip movement does not agree with the words you hear I manage And yes I love the original versions with subtitles I always add them while watching movies at home and even the regular TV as often as possible even though I prefer reading so TV is pushed aside However I rarely use the mobile phone I prefer communicating via Whatsapp and if someone calls me I know he s a stranger Because everybody knows I simply DO NOT answer the phone Additional stress only when necessary emergencies and the like thank you very much All in all this is the most real and truer book about deafness I ve read in a long while And now the big uestion What is the aspect I dislike the most Well there is a tendency of portraying deafness in books as something different but in an almost mystical way Although I can understand this POV I also am a little upset when I read books like those I ve always considered deafness a disability just because it has disabled me in many ways Above all when I m surrounded by hearing people I m the irl who is last at realizing something has just happened and that something can be important or interesting or fun or bad for you I m the irl who misses the The Woman You Want to Be: Margery Wilson's Complete Book of Charm good chances and can t avoid the bad ones I m theirl who is left behind and forgotten and when they notice it they tell me what happened in two words and I have to say Thank you when I want to say I Laiden's Daughter guessed as much with the parts I caught tell me the complete version I m theirl who is schizophrenic about everything and asks everything every time because I precisely don t want to miss out those unimportant things that can change everything And believe me I ve missed out lots of things And somebody can think it s because I don t want to listen but the thing is listening is
An ACTIVE Action FromACTIVE action from it doesn t come by osmosis "like everybody else It s tiring to be listening 247Like Cece I need "everybody else It s tiring to be listening 247Like Cece I need wear How To Pass The New Police Selection System glasses now Things are very blurred but I have been resisting for years now because I don t want to wear ANOTHER prothesis on my ears But hey I surely will see life with a brighter light rightBTW El Deafo is sort of El Zorro right But it should be La Deafo because Cece is airl shouldn t itI wish this book was translated to my language I know lots of people who would enjoy this and maybe be helped by it I am a fan of Raina Telgemeir s raphic novels based on her childhood When she blurbed El Deafo I knew I would enjoy itCece loses her hearing at the age of four as a result of sudden illness All at once she has to relearn how to communicate with those around her including family and friends School turns out to be a bit tricky since she can t read her teacher s lips at all times Not to worry Phonic Ear to the rescueCece s Phonic Ear hearing aid ives her superpowers but it also makes her feel alienated and different not the easiest things to juggle while trying to make friendsand Strategic Procurement growing up SheeshI loved the illustrations details and storyline I was especially moved by her afterword about deaf culture and hearing impairment Definitely worth reading whether you re a kid or an adult I felt different and in my mind being different wasn t aood thing I secretly and openly believed that my deafness in making me so different was a disability And I was ashamedAs I What Next After School ?: All You Need To Know About Work, Travel And Study (Times) grew up however I made some positive discoveries about deafness and about myself I m no longer ashamed of being deaf nor do I think of myself as someone with a disabilityTo the kid me being deaf was a defining characteristic one I tried to hide Now it defines a smaller part of me and I don t try to hide it much Today I view my deafness as of an occasional nuisance and oddly enough as aift I can turn off the sound of the world anytime I want and retreat into peaceful silence Cece Bell uses the The Inclusion Imperative: How Real Inclusion Creates Better Business and Builds Better Societies graphic novel format to tell her own story of hearing loss and the imagination of a childoing through it I thought it was fantastic presenting real issues like how friendships change the balancing of the best technology with the most comfortable technology resistance to learning ASL etc Some of my favorite moments were just in the artistic representations particularly a few pages on the trampoline And who wouldn t love the character of El Deafo the superhero who fearlessly confronts the worldI felt myself responding very positively but started to wonder how the deaf community had responded That s when I discovered this was a memoir up until then I thought it was just a story and found this article about how it empowers kids Ah so Riding the Creative Rollercoaster: How Leaders Evoke Creativity, Productivity and Innovation good to know I zoomed through this on the day my students were exploring the juvenile section of the library and reliving their childhoods. Ero is that it's just another way of feeling different and lonely Can Cece channel her powers into finding the thing she wants most a true friendThis funny perceptiveraphic novel memoir about Big Change, Best Path: Successfully Managing Organizational Change with Wisdom, Analytics and Insight growing up hearing impaired is also an unforgettable book aboutrowing up and all the super and super embarrassing moments along the way.