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The Da Vinci Code (READ)

The New York Times for his effortI d heard that the novel was meticulously researched and contained some really interesting and controversial assessments of religious zealotry Um not really Well not by my Merovingian standards anyway DLet s put it this way If Dan Brown was teaching an Insurgent Christian Symbolism in Art and Literature 101 class at my local community college I d definitely have a different opinion about him But NO Dan Brown is not a professor of anything but pap He is a barely competent thriller writer who wrote an AWFUL book that I could not bear to finish because I felt my I plummeting a little further with every Let s Go to Paris Guidebook description and blowhard authorial essay Oh don t even get me started about those cute solilouies the main characters are so fond of delivering ever so calmly often while cops n bovvers are chasing themThe characters are weakly drawn The dialogue is excruciating The research is shoddy and self serving at best The plot no matter how open minded ou are is beyond ludicrous It s laughable enough to be incorporated into the next Indiana Jones movie That d be sweet dudeWhat really irks me are Dan Brown s sanctimonious interviews wherein he shows off all of his priceless antiues while expressing his abiding convictions that the American public needs a deeper appreciation of art and history and culture What a shallow self aggrandizing hypocrite I m all for fictional subversion of the dominant Catholic paradigm but only if the subverter knows what the hell they re talking about Brown DOESN T He s all la la la connect the dots but the picture he comes up with is awkward and unconvincingThe DaVinci Choad is a dead easy nay downright lazy read and Not You Its Me (Boston Love, yet droves of people are patting themselves on the back for having read and gasp actually understood it Like this is some spectacular achievement WHY What because the slipcover describes it as erudite Areou fucking kidding meDon t believe the hype kids You are profoundly intelligent than this holiday page turner gives Traces et indices d'oiseaux. Pistes, nids, plumes, crnes... you credit forIfou really honestly just plain liked the book that s cool I guess Maybe My Bitchy Soulmate you also prefer Anne Geddes to Alfred Stieglitz Kenny G to Sidney Bechet John Tesh to Igor Stravinsky Your prerogative Just please don t try to tell me that this is fascinating or meaningful literature Frickin read The Club Dumas or something Then we ll talk and I won t want to shoot myself in the faceAlright glad I purged that poison from my system Carry on A 80% Very Good Notes Excessive exposition and ludicrous writing discolor an otherwise captivating thought provoking page turning read OKAY PEOPLEsomeone let me in on the gag because between the cries of Greatest Book of Greaty Greatness EVER and the screams of Lamest Load of Lamey Lameness EVER my itty bitty brain is left very So post Hype a ganza I finally got around to reading this popular polarizing pop culture icon and thought it wasdrum rollFINEsigh It was a solid read with a slight lean towards the eh side of MEH and few moments of genuine that s neat I don t see all the love and I don t see all the rage Other than the obvious religious flavor of the content it reminded me ofour typical page turning popcorn beach read and I thought it accomplished its goal in decent if unremarkable fashion Now I have a strict don t ask don t tell don t mock don t preach approach when it comes to religiousness so I am going to ignore the bird flipping Vatican bash aspects of the story though I can certainly see people on both sides of the fence having epic rah rah or epic fail reactions and I respect that For me it didn t move my needle much in either direction beyond my fondness for the big hidden history mystery which is something I generally really enjoy The plot of this one has been talked to death and beyond so rather than adding one jelly bean to the jar I thought I would just run down a few likes and dislikes about the story and leave it at that TURN ONS 1 Conspiracy theories are just fully fun and I am a major sucker for plots concerning shadow histories and secret people doing secret things behind secret doors for reasons that are SHHHHHHH I love a good conspiracy Find me a rumor involving Kim Kardashian being a Bilderberger and using a secret banking pipeline running from Area 51 through Microsoft to the Saudi Royal Family and laundering vast monies to be used to coordinate the sale of Boise Idaho to a mysterious consortium headed by Jay Z and Justin Bieber who will then turn the city into a giant uasi government facility used for the testing of alien cloning technologyand I "Am Glued To My Seat "glued to my seat ONE HAPPY FELLA 2 Knights Templar As much as I love conspiracies in general when Lichen Sclerosis: How to Heal It you throw the Knights Templar into the mix it s gonna perk me up better than a latte enema I am always in favor of having them show up as a lynch pin to any massive global plot The Knights Templar are like caramel on ice cream and just make a good conspiracy better I had a lot of fun with the rehash of the Templar s place in the center of EVERYTHING 3 Symbology Da Vinci and the Holy Grail the IDEA I thought the major plot components themselves were interesting and I enjoyed following the hidden clues messages riddles and the tie in to all of the famous historical artifacts It was fun I also liked the historical significance of the search ie the big reveal and the implications to the world if revealed TURN OFFS 1 Symbology Da Vinci and the Holy Grail the EXECUTION As much as I enjoyed the plot concept the execution of the story was often frustrating and occasionally insulting I m not talking about the clunky serviceable at best prose as that s gotten enough play without my suirting lighter fluid on the bonfire My issue is with Dan feeling the need to spoon feed me details about his oh so clever plot so that my economy sized brain could grasp it For example there would be a reveal that I thought was interestingand then Dan would exhaust me with explaining EXACTLY what that meant and EXACTLY what the implications were and make sure I knew EXACTLY what he had told me I get it Mr Brown heardou the first time 2 THRILLer killing amounts of PLOD For a page turning actiony thriller there was just too much sideways movement of the plot and some really unnecessary amounts of plod to the narrative Part of this has to do with the excessive hand holding Dan does with his audience mentioned above However there are also WAY too much time spent slowing down to take a look around and where we are and where we ve been I started getting the impression that Brown was trying to hit a particular page count for the book and didn t have anything but filler to loan the pages with This is never a good thing for this kind of story 3 The End Not a big for this kind of story 3 The End Not a big of the final resolution of the story and I found it very un climaxy and a bit of a let down Once we have the big reveal very little new information ever really got added to the picture and I felt like my curiosity should have been stroked a few times than it was in the home stretch This lack of satisfying climax left me with a serious case of blue brain Still overall this was a good serviceable mystery thriller that seems tailor made for a warm afternoon on the sand It isn t great literature or even good literature but it is a good thriller a good concept and for the most part fun It seems to accomplish pretty much exactly what it set out to do 25 to 30 stars No I am not No I am not going to write a review about this piece of nonsense just because I had Irish Paganism yet ANOTHER of those incredibly annoying conversations in a bookstore to top it off No I am notOh for goodness sake It is NOT a great book to broadenour cultural horizons and whatever the humbug mentioned on Leonardo it is NOT euivalent to reading a book researched by a REAL art historian which is something entirely different from a blind folded arrogant gold digging bestseller author It is not a well written exciting thriller It is Brown in Wonderland minus the humour the wit and the beautiful language of the Wonderland Alice visited and minus the credible plotIt is not something a bookworm like me HAS to read Okay Once and for all noLisa ou as a book lover and art historian must love Dan Brown No Period I don t I read three THREE of his arrogant idiocies posing as novels I DON T love him It makes me furious to get the uestion over and overHow much of what he discovered on Leonardo is trueI did not write a review I hope It would have been a bad one Let s forget The Priory's ancient secret and an explosive historical truth will be lost foreverTHE DA VINCI CODE heralds the arrival of a new breed of lightning paced intelligent thrillerutterly unpredictable right up to its stunning conclusionBonus disc includes Dan Brown's Oct 2005 speech Symbols secrets science scripture beyond The Da Vinci code presented at the Univ of New Hampshire and an interview with Akiva Goldsman screenwriter of The Da Vinci Code. Stablish Blasphemy in a view spoiler Why can t JC have a daughter what s our problem dudes It s so ridiculous if any prophet would be a woman or gosh a lesbian or even a gay male prophet they would of course completely freak out even hide spoiler most of us have heard of this controverisal book it takes an open minded person to read this and to remember it is just fiction but it brings up a lot of important uestions about the Christian church and the loss of paganism and the respect of the Goddess or the Woman I don t care if I am the only one who likes this book it is my own truth and i will think what i want to think Dan Brown didn t LEAD me or anyone else he OPENED our minds simply and importantlyhe was just a catalyst for different thinking that is a good thingpoorly written or notif The Ultimate EU Test Book Administrators 2020 you finish the bookou will notice that Dan Brown even makes it clear to readers through his characters words that he doesn t want to destroy christianity because it has done so much good for so many people and if it works for them let s let them continue to do what works for them but find Comprendre et grer les conflits dans les entreprises et les organisations your own path ifou were or are a Christian ask Islamic Dynasties A Chronological and Genealogical Handbook Islamic Surveys yourself about the topics in this book They are so eye opening Jesus having a baby totally possiblenever thought of it before never thought of it is it true who knows Things like this are happening all the time todayWeapons of Mass destruction in Ira sound familiar Maybe the church repressed information LIKE this because it was a threat to the church totally possible The catholic church creating the biblical canon with a political agenda to wipe out paganism actually this seems to be a fact women being oppressed due to the fear of religous zealot men in power losing their powernever looked at it that way but this seems to be a fact too is it helpful in broadening my perspective of the fact that christianity is just a religion made by fallible people it sure is does it open my mind to other faiths like paganism judiasm islam bhuddism and want to take the truths from all of them and then THINK FOR MYSELF and figure out my own truth it sure doesand that is what this book has probably done for many other people why doou think Dan Brown s book was on the bestseller list for so longand became a movieobviously it was doing some good This is a pretty formulaic page turner a fun uick read Written at about the level of the average Nancy Drew mystery it is best appreciated at that level As far as the content there are howlers on virtually every page starting with the hero who looks like Harrison Ford in Harris tweed and is a Professor of Religious Symbology at Harvard good work if Un Nol River Falls you can find it You have to ignore very pulpy cheesy writing to enjoy this romantic thrillerIntended as a book that a dedicated reader could finish in a day or somethingou take to the beach and casually finish in a weekend The Da Vinci Code makes for a reasonable airline novel so much so that it is often a bit clunky in its desire to ensure that no intellectual effort on the reader s part will be reuired Here s a recurring example in this novel a bit of unfamiliar terminology say crux gemmata jeweled cross will will be explained on page N then on page N1 a character will finger his jeweled cross and explain Oh Jane and Julio yes this is a crux gemmata I ve read dinner menus that were demanding on the reader My wife and I both read about a third of it in a day sharing the same copy and that s a full work day plus taking care of kids bedtime etc That s also a kind of virtue I guess it s fast and peppyAs far as history goes Dan Brown apparently thinks that most historians give credence to the hoary forgeries and frauds promoted in sensationalist best sellers like Holy Blood Holy Grail This author gets the best of both worlds simultaneously claiming that it s just fiction while introducing the novel with claims that the historical record contained within is fact That claim is ridiculous To pluck a random example he spends some time talking about the Council of Nicaea and incorrectly summarizes it as the origin of the doctrine of Christ s divinity by Constantine He ignores the Arian controversy out of which it arose which is like trying to explain the Treaty of Versailles without mentioning World War I He ignores the documented fact agreed upon even by the cheerleaders of the gnostics that he is sympathetic to that the earliest gnostic doctrines held that Christ was purely God and not really man the very reverse of the doctrine that serves as the linchpin of his novel s intellectual base such as it is This is a bad novel for weak or misinformed Christians but anyone familiar with history should spot the train wreck of Brown s ideas a mile offOhes and in Brown s world Opus Dei has shadowy assassin monks in real life Opus Dei is not a monastic order there are no Opus Dei monks let alone trained assassins and the Catholic Church has been promulgating known lies as its central dogmas promotes violence throughout the world and has been retarding the progress of science and knowledge for 2 millennia Brown leaves the Reader With The Impression That This Too with the impression that this too a matter of settled historical record Oh but then again it s just fiction Except when it s notIn general if ou re looking for a heady thriller wrapped around Christian arcana I d recommend Umberto Eco s excellent The Name of the Rose not this dumbed down by the numbers novel 5 stars to Dan Brown s The Da Vinci Code Most folks have seen the movie and probably not read the book What a loss for them That said I know a lot of people don t enjoy Brown s books believing he is too commercialized and over exaggerated in his style While I can understand why someone may think that I don t agree I love the complexity of the story the reality and the fiction the test of character strength the puzzles the different view points It completely absorbs me so I fall into the category of those who love him and this style of writing even if others think his writing isn t fantastic Doesn t I don t love the classic and richly written novels where it s the imagery and the words win out tooI had never heard of Dan Brown in his early ears I heard about the movie being made of the book and how it was coming out relatively soon I looked it up and saw it had the treasure hunter thrill appeal and decided to read the book before the movie could come out and warp my interpretation So glad I didIt s addicting Growing up Catholic I knew most of the religious detail but once it weaved it art literature history and philosophy I was just enad with the story Could it really be true Maybe I m related to Adam and Eve too Ok let s not get too crazyMagnificent story telling uick adventure Beautiful scenes and images Brown exhibit s intensely good control weaving back and forth between each of the plots sub plots and mini plots It s as realistic of a treasure hunt as one can get if The Cambridge Handbook of Sociolinguistics you are not an adventurer archaeologist or exhibition junkieBut what took it to the next level for me was the amount of detail included for every component It s the intricate of the intricate relying on pure puzzles to move the story forward Each new puzzle creates its own spark of drama directing readers to challenge what they do and do not know about Jesus Mary Magdalene languages culture locations etcIt hits so many different waves of appeal that I felt it was at the top of its game And it probably only edged out Angels Demons because of how tight this story was Definitely a must read for the genre for Brown and before watching the movie adaption PLEASE do NOT recommend The Da Vinci Code to me becauseou think it s brilliant Please do not try to explain to me that it is a really interesting and eye opening book Just don t Please I ve read Iain Pear I heart Foucault s Pendulum Dashiell Hammett is my hero Alan Moore is My Absolute Favorite I listen to Coil on a fairly regular basis and cloak n dagger secret societyPriory of SionKnights of Templar tinged num nums make me a very happy girl but if ou truly believe that Brown s stupid airport thriller has ANY right whatsoever to be placed in the same category with Michael Wooden Dildo Dialogue Crichton let alone Umberto Eco kindly keep this opinion very far away from me or the ensuing conversation we have will not be constructive or polite in any wayI loathe Dan Brown I resent him for spoon feeding the masses pseudo intellectual Holy Blood Holy Grail D grade thriller shite under a pretense of real sophistication and getting orally serviced by. S with a gifted French cryptologist Sophie Neveu and learns the late curator was involved in the Priory of Sion an actual secret society whose members included Sir Isaac Newton Botticelli Victor Hugo and Da Vinci among others In a breathless race through Paris London and beyond Langdon and Neveu match wits with a faceless powerbroker who seems to anticipate their every move Unless Langdon and Neveu can decipher the labyrinthine puzzle in time. .

Free read The Da Vinci Code

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The Da Vinci Code
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Four stars for pure entertainment valueHowever Dave Barry s review gets five stars The Da Vinci Code crackedby Dave BarryI have written a blockbuster novel My inspiration was The DaVinci Code by Dan Brown which has sold 253 trillion copies in hardcover because it s such a compelling page turner NOBODY can put this book downMOTHER ON BEACH Help My child is being attacked by a sharkLIFEGUARD looking up from The DaVinci Code Not now I just got to page 243 where it turns out that one of the men depicted in The Last Supper is actually a womanMOTHER I know Isn t that incredible And it turns out that she s SHARK spitting out the child Don t give it away I m only on page 187The key to The DaVinci Code is that it s filled with startling plot twists and almost every chapter ends with a cliffhanger so ou have to keep reading to see what will happen Using this formula I wrote the following blockbuster novel titled The Constitution Conundrum It s fairly short now but when I get a huge publishing contract I ll flesh it out to 100000 words by adding sentencesCHAPTER ONE Handsome Faire l'amour de manire divine yet unmarried historian Hugh Heckman stood in the National Archives Building in Washington DC suinting through the bulletproof glass at the US Constitution Suddenly he made an amazing discovery My God he said out loud This is incredible Soon I will say what it is CHAPTER TWO What is it said a woman Heckman had never seen before who happened to be standing next to him She was extremely beautiful but wore glasses as a sign of intelligence My name is Desiree Legume she saidHeckman felt he could trust her Look at this he said pointing to the Constitution My God that s incredible said Desiree It s going to be very surprising when we finally reveal what we re talking about CHAPTER THREE Yes said Hugh incredible as it seems there are extra words written in the margin of the US Constitution and nobody ever noticed them until now They appear to be in some kind of code Let me look said Desiree In addition to being gorgeous I am a trained codebreaker Oh my God What is it asked Hugh in an excitedet concerned tone of voice The message said Desiree is But just then the chapter endedCHAPTER FOUR It s a fiendishly clever code explained Desiree As Je mourrai pas gibier you can see the words say White House White House Bo Bite House Banana Fana Fo Fite House Fe Fi Mo Mite House White House Yes said Hugh frowning in bafflement But what can it possibly mean If I am correct said Desiree it is referring to the White House My God said Hugh That s where the president lives Doou think Do I think what said Desiree I don t know said Hugh But we re about to find out CHAPTER FIVE Hugh and Desiree crouched in some bushes next to the Oval Office We d better hurry up and solve this mystery remarked Desiree anxiously It s only a matter of time before somebody notices that the Constitution is missing She had slipped it into her purse at the National Archives while the guard wasn t looking The answer must be here somewhere said Hugh studying the ancient document which was brown from age and the fact that he had spilled Diet Peach Snapple on it Wait a minute he said I ve got it What said Desiree her breasts heaving into view The answer said Hugh It s But just then shots rang outCHAPTER SIX That was close remarked Desiree Fortunately those shots had nothing to do with the plot of this book Yes said Hugh Anyway as I was saying the answer is to hold the Constitution up so that it is aligned with the White House and the Washington Monument There do Il est temps d'agir (IC.ESSAIS) you see what I mean My God said Desiree seeing what he meant It s Hold it right there said the president of the United StatesCHAPTER SEVEN and soou see concluded the president Climate, Society and Subsurface Politics in Greenland you two uncovered a shocking and fascinating secret that if it should ever get out could change the course of history Mr President said Desiree thankou for that riveting and satisfying explanation which will be fleshed out into much greater detail once there is a publishing contract Also noted Hugh we may use some beverage other than Snapple depending on what kind of product placement deals can be worked out Good said the president Now can I have the Constitution back They all enjoyed a hearty laugh for they knew that the movie rights were also available A thriller devoid of pacing or exciting language A mystery devoid of clues foreshadowing or facts A tell all of half truths based upon a forged document written by a schizophrenic conman A character driven modern novel devoid of character The second draft of Angels and Demons Page turning action thanks to the literary euivalent of pulling out at the moment of orgasm A spiritual awakening built on new age conspiracy theory This book is many things and none of them good new or interesting However it is an excellent litmus test for idealistic delusionUpon the first reading I must admit I found it a bit interesting but then I turned the final page and there was no bibliography No explanation of how the author became familiar with all the concepts he claimed to faithfully portray He wrote this book and pretended it was a history book and then refused to support it in any way And any history La Muette you can t check up on is a bad one He s no better than James Frey In fact he may be worse since I know people who base their religious beliefs on this book whereas Frey s only crime was wishing he was Scarface And really what macho thirtysomething male doesn tBrown had good reasons for hiding his sources they were forged by con man Pierre Plantard and snuck into the Bibliotheue National in Paris back in the seventies And it s not like Plantard got away with it either the whole Priory of Sion thing was debunked thirtyears before this book was even writtenThe artistic iconography that figures heavily into the mystery is also completely made up and was declared ludicrous by an art history professor of my acuaintance There are a lot of well known symbols and allusions in classic art but none of them Brown s claims The whole hinge On Which The Plot which the plot the notion that an inverted triangle is symbolic of women makes about as much sense as declaring that the use of the swastika by 3rd century BC Buddhists was proof that they were fascistsThe rest of Brown s book is filled with the sort of cliched religious conspiracies Vie des douze Csars (Intgrale) Sutone you get fromour first ear as a theology student Not only that but these conspiracies were already explored by better writers in Foucault s Pendulum and the Illuminatus Trilogy Well I ve already done legitimate historical research on this review than Brown did in already done legitimate historical research on this review than Brown did in whole book so I guess I ll call it a day Alternate history uchronias and indirect criticism of faith and ideology combine to one of the most successful thriller series of all times Everything was already on the table many authors had dealt with the different ideas Brown is mixing together and finding and recombining conspiracy theories isn t that complicated It s the mix of different topics that interest many people stirred together that make it entertaining for the ones who like art or thrillers for atheists and religious people for the ones interested in plot or characterization it s just difficult to find someone who would immediately say that shehe isn t interested in one of the plot vehicles It doesn t just relativizes general history but religious and political history in a way that makes it a prime example of the fact that history and holy texts are written by the winners Widening the range uestioning the status uo and making people skeptical regarding omniscience commandments and whatever is something of huge importance and Brown did than Richard Dawkins and Christopher Hitchens combined and multiplied could have done in centuries by reaching so many people and making them think about the legitimation of any kind of beliefImagine many people would start writing fanfiction like that about different religious texts expanding universes with new and alternative prophets letting the whole thing collapse into a parody of itself within earsI tend to euate religious economic and political science texts for the simple reason that as soon as there is one truth or in hard science formulas and euations the others or even the own one must the wrong The open criticism and sarcastic to profound interpretations of all those one hit wonders are made by sophisticated Catamount, Tome 3 : La justice des corbeaux young people the less power all of those charlatanries can generate in their stupid uest towards the one and only variation of reality they want to While in Paris on business Harvard symbologist Robert Langdon receives an urgent late night phone call the elderly curator of the Louvre has been murdered inside the museum Near the body police have found a baffling cipher While working to solve the enigmatic riddle Langdon is stunned to discover it leads to a trail of clues hidden in the works of Da Vinci clues visible for all to seeet ingeniously disguised by the painterLangdon joins force. ,

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